A Big Fat Marriage

No, no, the title of the post should not be taken as a marriage of some high society wedding. Here I am referring to a marriage of a lowest of the lowest family, who are 'bargaining'  with  another family, where they are planning to 'give away' their daughter in marriage. I am referring here to a  pre marriage talks and bargains being made for my maid's daughter's marriage arrangements. The people belong to a backward  community. She has a daughter (also working in our house}supposed to be eighteen years old. Ever since she joined our house, the mother is looking for a match for the daughter. Last week there was an SOS message from her village to send the girl to the village. The girls' father is working as a cook with some family. The father and daughter reached the village, only to be told that the boy had been taken away by some other family. 

Within one week, the father found a match for his daughter. The father and his two brothers went to 'see' the boy  to another village and liked him.The boy is twenty three  years old, never attended any school, and is unemployed. I don't know what they liked in such a boy, except that he is a 'boy'!  Yesterday the boy's people came to see the girl. They were supposed to come at eight '0 clock in the morning, but they reached at four in the evening.{Only eight hours late) Only three people were to come, but forty  came. There were no females  among them and the boy is not supposed to see the girl! For all these forty, the girl's father had to arrange for food and a  place for sleeping at night. The father is staying in a jhuggi.  For dinner they demanded  'chicken' and something 'nice' to drink. After making all arrangements, the poor fellow  came and sat with the guests. Now started the 'bargains'. The boy's father demanded  a motor cycle, five gold ornaments besides  all other things useful for the house. This  one way of asking and giving of gifts will continue forever.

Just imagine, even at such a level  where the boy is illiterate,and has no source of income and lives in a jhuggi, this is the demand ! It is so shocking.The boy and the girl are not expected  see each other before  the marriage.

Such things are still happening in India. The 'bride giver'  has always  been at the lower level. He has to stand with folded hands in front of the 'bride taker'. The bride's father will  forever be the 'golden cow' ready to be milked  at one call. Even though  anti dowry laws are there, but they are being   flouted openly. The amount given as dowry  is not given to the newly wed couple, it goes to the parents. I told my maid  not to go  ahead with this alliance, but she says that such things are common  in their community. When  the cow is herself  willing to be butchered, who can say  any   thing!!