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Thursday 21 November 2013

I wish I could forgive you

 Write Tribe - Letters Unsent


  Dear  friend,
                 Today in  a nostalgic frame of mind, I just remembered you.. I must confess that many times the memories of olden days have  appeared in my dreams. I know that knowingly or unknowingly I never  lost my temper or tried to displease any one, but why, but why did I ,in a fit of annoyance and despair   took a harsh step and got you transferred to a village school, knowing fully well that you had small children at home, who needed  your attention.
                                          All the incidents of those days are again coming live in my thoughts.I remember the day when you were posted in my school. On  the very first sight, I was impressed by your passion for working with  children. I entrusted you all important responsibilities. You were the examination in-charge and the staff secretary. I loved your manner of teaching class xii students. Children just worshipped you.. You were responsible in getting the school the title of .'the best school' of the zone.Even though ,our   school was a Govt school, all the children of the colony preferred our school in comparison to public schools.The school was at the pinnacle of glory!
                               The teacher's union decided to go on a strike. The call for the strike was so forceful that every school joined the strike. The demands were genuine., but as gazetted officers Principals did not  participate, though their blessings were with the teachers.All the teachers of our schools joined the strike. They used to come from home and sit in the premises of a temple near the school.Only one teacher of my school did not join because of family compulsions. Everyday, before entering the school I visited the striking teachers and wished good luck.  The strike lasted eighteen days. I arranged a get together  to welcome all of you  to the school. That day was the BLACK day for the school.You being the staff secretary could have opposed  the other teachers, but the irony was that you prompted the teachers to participate in that obnoxious  act. You as a leader spat on the face of the poor lady who did not participate in the strike. All others followed you. At first I thought of calling the police but I controlled myself and ordered  all the staff members to assemble in my  office. I first congratulated all of you  for the success of the strike. Then I condemned them for their inhuman act. You got up and said,"Are you a judge?"(these words still upset me) I was shocked. I never expected such words from you.I felt like crying but controlled my tears.  I had to use my authority at  that moment. I said, 'I am a judge in this seat. I will not tolerate such heinous  act inside the school  boundary" On your  insistence none of the teachers participate in the party which was organised to welcome the staff. After the school hours all the teachers, except you and two others, came to me and apologised for their unholy action.  Next day onwards the school functioned normally. You were the only one  who tried to induce the teachers and uttered words as "don't worry we are trying to arrange a truck to hit Mrs. Menon;s car. Soon she will not be alive. Even if she is saved  she will not  be able to attend school.". Such indecent and irresponsible remarks  reached my ears. You remember, I called you to my  office and tried my best to bring you round,. but you were in a mood to oppose. Hence for the sake of  the discipline of the school, I met the Director of Education and got you posted to a far flung rural school. After you got the transfer order, .I did not see any trace of remorse on your face .That was the last day I saw you. I had lost the best teacher of the school because of her pride and haughty behaviour. Many times when I recall this incident I feel depressed and wish I could forgive you.

Mrs. Menon



This port is written  in response to Write Tribe  # Letters unsent  The topic for the letter is
                                                                              
The person who caused you a lot of pain / Some one you wish you could forgive.














20 comments:

  1. Sometimes it is not the issue of forgiving the person who has hurt us, rather it is more difficult to forget the hurt they have caused. But, I suppose if we are unable to forget, it automatically means we have not been able to forgive .
    Life can be quite complicated at times.

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    1. Yes Rama life is complicated. The scar remains! Thanks for visiting.

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  2. I feel quite annoyed when this argument of forgiving is dangled. It is not the question of forgiving or even forgetting. But often what is the guarantee that you will not be treated a sucker and the trampling goes on?

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    1. Yes Anil there is no guarantee that the person will not repeat the same offense. But this incidence is more than 50 years old.

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  3. Forgiving and forgetting both are easier said than done Ushaji. Maybe the hotheadedness of my age but I do move on with life but I'm not the forgive and forget kind of saint. I keep to myself but if someone hurts me repeatedly then they'll get what they are asking for and without any apologies...

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  4. Reshma I know forgiving and forgetting is very difficult at a young age. At this age I have become more tolerant and sober.This incident took place 50 years ago , when I too had the same opinion as yours.

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  5. Shocked to see that such people that hurt others stooping to mean levels exist in this world. Hurt is temporary and small when you look at the bigger picture of life. By dwelling in the hurt, what do we gain? We cant unwind that has already happened, so it is best to leave the hurt back. I have done it, it is not hard! Forgiveness is the best virtue a human can develop.

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    1. Yes Padmaja it is true but unfortunate that such incidents take place. In a frenzy of emotions a person can stoop to such a level that he/she don't realise how much they are hurting another person. At that point I was not in a mood to forgive her.

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  6. Agree, sometimes it is tough to forgive. Letting go of the hurt is difficult. But then one has to do it for our own inner peace.

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    1. Shilpa in such a situation it was hard to forgive. At that time as a boss, if I had forgiven her, it would have led to indiscipline in the school. But that lady was so stubborn and headstrong that she did not feel sorry for her action, either to me or to the person whom she humiliated.

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  7. That must have been a very difficult situation for you to handle then, ma'am. You still remember the incident vividly, shows how hurt you must have been. It definitely is tough to forgive such people especially for sensitive people, but then we must move on.

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    1. Yes Asha it was really a difficult situation. At that time, as a boss, I had to act in stringent manner. Her fault was such that, as an administrator I had to take stringent action. Now when I look back I don't regret that I took a very strong step. I feel for her. If she had apologised, I would perhaps not taken such a strict action.

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  8. Honestly,I find it very difficult to forget and forgive..

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    1. Generally I did not take any serious action but lady was incorrigible.

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  9. But for such people is transfer a correct step ? The children in rural areas in fact need someone to teach them moral values rt ? So is it fair transferring such folks in need of ethical and moral values to such places ?

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    1. Thank you Jaishree . I can understand your approach to my action. But in the circumstance, this was the only solution. I have also said that she was an excellent teacher, but her unholy action for which she did not even apologise to her colleague, she deserved to be punished.

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  10. I feel you took the decision in the best interest of the school. Sometimes, the onus lies on us and much to our chagrin, we need to act. I cannot forgive or forget people.
    www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com

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    1. Thank you Vishal You are right I took the decision in the interest of the school. Kindly read my post 'Gratitude'.

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