northern lights

northern lights

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Happy is the person who lives for others

An old adage ‘A man is a social animal’ has been coming to my mind for the last few days.I have been compelled by my mind to give it a serious thought.We exist in a society.We all need the society as much as the society needs us.It is a  case of give and take,  mutual trust and understanding.Some people adopt the ‘I don’t care’ attitude,but at some stage of their life they come to terms with reality.The question arises after all what comprises human relations. Human relations as I understand, is the  interaction  between  individuals .This interaction can be  at the level of:-
1.   family  members 2.neighbours place  associates  and  4.society  at  large,  which includes relatives and friends.
 No  one can survive without communication. For  the  water  that we drink,  the delectable food on our dining table , the house  that we live in and  hundreds of luxuries that we enjoy  are the result of  mutual  human involvement.  Even  a  hermit , living in seclusion, is indirectly the beneficiary  of the labour  of others.

 We learn our first lesson of maintaining  good will from our family. If a family is well knit and has a positive outlook, it will be transmitted to the members. Here the Mother’s role is very significant.  It  is the mother who has to inculcate   good values in the children.The concept of  tolerance, concern for the feelings of others  and to a  large extent selflessness  and good behaviour  and co-operation  is acquired by the children  in their early years . These  values get ingrained  in their system. The mother, therefore,  is  a psychologist.who can  effectively  judge the emotions of her  household.  The  Mother  is the  first and foremost  teacher.
 Next  comes the School. The school plays a very important part  in the development of the child.  The character  building process starts within the boundary of the school.The qualities of  sharing,  give and take  and shouldering responsibility  are acquired at the school level. It is within  the precincts of  the school  that the qualities of head and heart  and  discipline are imbibed in the individual  and  equip   him to face the challenges  of   life.  Education  will not be   complete if the child is not  exposed to the vagaries  of  the harsh world.  It is generally noticed  that the  children who have not taken  any  formal education are by nature  not very  co-operative and do not possess a very pleasing disposition. The  habits that we have acquired in childhood in our school  and college  always remain with us. In fact these experiences form  the basis  of human relations.  Education  leads us to the royal path of virtues like good will,
 equanimity,  and  fellow feeling.         
 As we grow  we   come across various characters,  young and old,  pleasant and not so   pleasant, fun loving and morose. We have to tackle  them  all. Human  nature varies from person to person. We have to adjust  with every one. I  have  come across  characters of all sorts during the course of my professional life. Dealing  with  human beings enabled  me   to  judge the natural  bent of mind  of individuals  to a great extent.The test of  a person’s credibility  in maintaining harmony starts from home.We have many times noticed  that  some people  who  show exemplary behaviour, have a co operative  approach  and are very helpful  to others in the outside world,  are  dictators at home.They are intolerant  and  virtually abusive  and insensitive   towards the feelings and  requirements of their own family. Such  persons    are   utter failures  in  life. If we are good  within  the four walls of our home,   it is beamed  on our  face  and personality. We are all familiar with the saying that charity begins at home.  But at the same time it should not end there.
 While browsing through the Internet I chanced to see a formulation  titled ‘Ten  Commandments of Human Relations”. I am reproducing it below for ready reference  and emulation. Here I also acknowledge my indebtedness  to the author of this  Happiness formula :

10 Commandments of Human Relations

1.      Speak to people.
There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting.
2.      Smile at people.
It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.
3.      Call people by name.
The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his own name.
4.      Be friendly and helpful.
If you want friends, you must be one.
5.      Be cordial.
Speak and act as if everything you do is a joy to you.
6.      Be genuinely interested in people.
You can like almost everybody if you try.
7.      Be generous with praise...
and cautious with criticisms.
8.      Be considerate with the feelings of others.
There are usually three sides to a controversy: Yours, the other fellow's and the right side.
9.      Be eager to lend a helping hand.
Often it is appreciated more than you know.
10.  Add to this:
a good sense of humour, a huge dose of patience and a dash of humility. This combination will open many doors and the rewards will be enormous.

Courtesy Google


  1. Thank You for this Usha ji...Thanks for reminding us of the things we need to keep in mind..It's not easy but we should definitely inculcate this habit

    1. Thanks Naba, these are very small things that matter a lot. Thanks for reading.

  2. Ushaji, i prefer to call my building watchman by their first names and they feel happy. People r generous with critisims ans miser with praises. The ten commandments should be implemented with utmost urgency.

    1. By such small acts, if we can bring a smile on the other person's lips,how much happiness we will be spreading. Thank you Kalpana.

  3. Smiling at others, calling them by their names, helping others, appreciating them are small things but which can make somebody's day. And these can mean a lot too.Like they say, there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. And these small ripples are needed in today's times much more than ever!

    1. These are small things, which are easy to practice. and which can bring a change in the attitude of others.Thanks Shilpa.

  4. 10 very good points to live life by. Thanks for sharing these.

    1. Thank you Suzy. I am glad you liked it.

  5. Good reminder. Usha ji. Especially the tip about smiling and how few muscles it takes to smile :)

  6. Thank you so much for such important tips. Noting down all the 10 commandments. :)

  7. From this post and another you wrote recently I believe Usha, I get a sense that you though perhaps high-principled brought forth discipline and love and caring into your household. You seem to be close to your family and vice versa which demonstrates that. :) And I love the 10 commandment formula: great simple principles to live by! <3