An old adage ‘A man is a social animal’ has been coming to my mind for the last few days.I have been compelled by my mind to give it a serious thought.We exist in a society.We all need the society as much as the society needs us.It is a case of give and take, mutual trust and understanding.Some people adopt the ‘I don’t care’ attitude,but at some stage of their life they come to terms with reality.The question arises after all what comprises human relations. Human relations as I understand, is the interaction between individuals .This interaction can be at the level of:-1. family members 2.neighbours 3.work place associates and 4.society at large, which includes relatives and friends.
No one can survive without communication. For the water that we drink, the delectable food on our dining table , the house that we live in and hundreds of luxuries that we enjoy are the result of mutual human involvement. Even a hermit , living in seclusion, is indirectly the beneficiary of the labour of others.
We learn our first lesson of maintaining good will from our family. If a family is well knit and has a positive outlook, it will be transmitted to the members. Here the Mother’s role is very significant. It is the mother who has to inculcate good values in the children.The concept of tolerance, concern for the feelings of others and to a large extent selflessness and good behaviour and co-operation is acquired by the children in their early years . These values get ingrained in their system. The mother, therefore, is a psychologist.who can effectively judge the emotions of her household. The Mother is the first and foremost teacher.
Next comes the School. The school plays a very important part in the development of the child. The character building process starts within the boundary of the school.The qualities of sharing, give and take and shouldering responsibility are acquired at the school level. It is within the precincts of the school that the qualities of head and heart and discipline are imbibed in the individual and equip him to face the challenges of life. Education will not be complete if the child is not exposed to the vagaries of the harsh world. It is generally noticed that the children who have not taken any formal education are by nature not very co-operative and do not possess a very pleasing disposition. The habits that we have acquired in childhood in our school and college always remain with us. In fact these experiences form the basis of human relations. Education leads us to the royal path of virtues like good will,
equanimity, and fellow feeling.
As we grow we come across various characters, young and old, pleasant and not so pleasant, fun loving and morose. We have to tackle them all. Human nature varies from person to person. We have to adjust with every one. I have come across characters of all sorts during the course of my professional life. Dealing with human beings enabled me to judge the natural bent of mind of individuals to a great extent.The test of a person’s credibility in maintaining harmony starts from home.We have many times noticed that some people who show exemplary behaviour, have a co operative approach and are very helpful to others in the outside world, are dictators at home.They are intolerant and virtually abusive and insensitive towards the feelings and requirements of their own family. Such persons are utter failures in life. If we are good within the four walls of our home, it is beamed on our face and personality. We are all familiar with the saying that charity begins at home. But at the same time it should not end there.
While browsing through the Internet I chanced to see a formulation titled ‘Ten Commandments of Human Relations”. I am reproducing it below for ready reference and emulation. Here I also acknowledge my indebtedness to the author of this Happiness formula :
10 Commandments of Human Relations
1. Speak to people.
There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting.
2. Smile at people.
It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.
3. Call people by name.
The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his own name.
4. Be friendly and helpful.
If you want friends, you must be one.
5. Be cordial.
Speak and act as if everything you do is a joy to you.
6. Be genuinely interested in people.
You can like almost everybody if you try.
7. Be generous with praise...
and cautious with criticisms.
8. Be considerate with the feelings of others.
There are usually three sides to a controversy: Yours, the other fellow's and the right side.
9. Be eager to lend a helping hand.
Often it is appreciated more than you know.
10. Add to this:
a good sense of humour, a huge dose of patience and a dash of humility. This combination will open many doors and the rewards will be enormous.