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Tuesday 4 June 2013

welcoming a daughter in law

In my last post I had written about my Daughter's marriage.Since I am a Punjabi and my husband is a Keralite we follow both North ans South traditions and customs. Whereas we celebrate Diwali, Holi and other festivals we also  celebrate Onam and Vishu in the same spirit and fervour.We relish Paranthas, Paneer, Sarson ka Saag as much as Idli, Dosa, Avial and Eressery with same enthusiasm. We have friends not only from Punjab but also from Kerala. We speak Hindi, English and Malyalam at home.
                           Right  from their childhood we planned that one  of our children should marry  a  Punjabi and the other one a Malyali.Even though when the children grew up we never discussed our plan with them., it was God's will that the Daughter( J ) married a Punjabi (J )and the Son(D) got a wife (K)from Kerala.On one visit we had met K and liked her but bringing her as a DIL never struck us. As it is a belief  'marriages are made in Heaven',we got a proposal  of marriage for our Son  from Kerala  from the same girl's  Father. We were more than happy. Of  course every thing depended on the boy and  the girl.Their opinion mattered the most. The girl came to Delhi with her Father. D and K met  and liked each other. It was decided that marriage ceremony would be performed in Guruvayur Temple, Kerala. 
It was the year 1988. We booked tickets for Trichur. Many of our relatives  also accompanied us.  From Trichur we went to Guruvayur in cars.  A guesthouse had been booked for us. In the evening many of our relatives(my in-laws) arrived.Singing, dancing and merry making, everyone was in a festive  spirit. All men were clad in Mundus in typical malyali style. My brother-in-law, Vishwash Nath, who is a Punjabi to the core wore the Mundu and nothing on top. In a hilarious mood he went on proclaiming that his name was Vishwanathan.
   The Muhuratham was at 9 a.m. the next day.My daughter and niece had brought mehandi from Delhi to apply on K's hand. Both of them went to her room.She was fully decked . Her friends and relatives were apprehensive that her dress was likely to be spoiled.  But these two had their way. Mehandi  looked very beautiful in her  hands. It added radiance to her personality and face. 
All of us assembled in the Mandapam of the Temple. Several couples  were scheduled to marry that day. The Hall was full  of people. There was a rostrum in the centre of the Hall. From this rostrum the couples can have a Darshan of Lord Guruvayoorappan.  The Kerala marriage ceremony takes hardly five minutes to complete, unlike a  Punjabi marriage ceremony. The bride and bride groom have to walk  around a lamp(Vilaku)three times. No mantras  are recited. The groom ties a Tali(A symbol of a married lady) round the brides neck. They exchanged  garlands. The priest told them to pray and take blessings from God! (Tozhu) This turned out to be a funny situation. D did not know Malyalam. He looked blank. The bride whispered in his ears  to pray. 
After the marriage ceremony was over all the guests assembled in a hall of the guest house. Some more rituals were performed. The Hall was tastefully decorated with coconut and banana festoons.(thoranum)  All the relatives gave spoonful of banana mashed in milk to the couple as blessings for a happy wedded life. In the end there was Sadya(feast) consisting of Kerala delicacies.
 Next day we left for Delhi. Before the bride entered the house she was welcomed inside according to traditional customs. We are proud of our DIL. She is like a daughter. She is very lovable and has taken the responsibility  of the whole house. She is a perfectionist. After her arrival the fusion of North and South  is complete. God bless her!
 








32 comments:

  1. Ushammayi lovely write up on the wedding. Met Deepuetta last weekend.. Wish I could meet u, bala mama kavita ammayi n ramita

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  2. Ushammayi lovely write up on the wedding. Met Deepuetta last weekend.. Wish I could meet u, bala mama kavita ammayi n ramita

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    1. Welcome Indu, to the bloggers' world. I am glad you liked my post. Hope we'll meet soon.

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  3. Lovely, read both the posts today and I could feel your love in it.

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  4. Thanks Saru Your lovely comments are welcome. A mother's love for her children always remains uppermost in her heart.

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  5. nice to know that you have a well-blended tradition at home, a toast to being Indian in spirit :) The warmth radiant from your post shows it is a blessed home, touchwood :)

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    1. Thanks Reshma. for such lovely comments.IIt is blissful if our children care for us in old age. I am grateful to God for all His mercies.

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  6. You carry so many memories and stories, naa :) your kids would be delighted to carry this dairy of yours down the lane..another sweet narration

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    1. Hi Latha.I am glad that you liked it. I consider myself fortunate that God has given me such loving children.In old age this is a great solace.

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    1. Thank you Rani Bitiya. Your comments are very precious.

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  8. such an enjoyable fusion this is....it must be one great celebration all the time! wish u all the happiness always!

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    1. Thank you Princess.I welcome your lovely comments.

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  9. Usha your life is like an exotic movie. I want to go to one of those weddings.

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    1. Oh Thank you rallentanda. Movies are also a reflection of real life incidents.

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  10. I am glad I didn't miss reading this, Usha. Recently I came back from Assam after attending a Bengali-Assamese fusion wedding---so, reading this actually warmed me up from the inside....lovely.
    God bless you and your family.
    hugz

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    1. Thanks Panchali. Such lovely comments from you have made my day. Friends like you inspire me.

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  11. That was indeed wonderful to read! What a wonderful family you have, and such a beautiful blend of traditions!

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    1. Never ever did this earlier in your Blog Mom. But wish to tell the world that all Mom-in-laws need to be like you in every way. YOU are an inspiration to many and my greatest inspiration . All the people who are your followers here are indeed lucky to be associated with you. Love you loads and Salute the person you are.

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    2. Thanks Dear Kavita. I really cherish your remarks.Felt elated. Missing you. Tons of love.

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    3. Loads of love Dear Rajita and Rom

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    4. Thanks Wordsanddreamz for loving comments.

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  12. I loved reading it. Wow, and there is something special about this interregional marriages. God knows we need more of them in India and more people like you!

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  13. Thank you Rachna. It is all God's grace that I have such a loving family.

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  14. It is really amazing how sometimes, what we think happens without any effort from our side. I too have experienced such a thing, of course in a different way. I am really happy for you and your family. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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    1. Hello Rama. It is destiny which unfolds its secret without any warning.We are merely puppets. I would love to know your experience.Glad that you liked my post. Thanks for dropping by.

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  15. My cousin (Mallu) married a Tamil girl who stayed in Delhi :D and my cheriamma married a guy from Delhi too :) so the North - South divide is sort of bridged in my family as well. I'm quite close to my didi (cousin's wife) as well, as she shares a love for books with me.

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    1. Hi Leo, Nice to know about you and your family.May god bless you and your lovely family. Thanks for sharing.

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  16. Hi Usha, thanks for your visit and feed back, now I found your blog!
    I am catching up with some of your posts today and enjoying them!
    This post is true to the core, the unity in diversity is amazing and inspiring.I have always believed that the universe is my home and all around are by people.

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    1. Hi Padmaja,nice to see you here.Welcome.I am proud of my family. I have a keralite daughter in law and a Punjabi son in law. There is great bonding and understanding among them. It is a source of solace for me and my husband in our old age.

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  17. Many of my nieces and nephews have spouses from different parts of iIndia and are living happily.Language is no hurdle and what is required is largeness of heart,kindness of the soul and harmony in the house.You seem a very warm hearted and generous lady already exposed to Punjabi culture.What more is needed for the right ambience in the house?
    Thanks for your comments.

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    1. Thank you KP. You are right. Language is only secondary. What matters most is the mutual love and trust.

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