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Monday 25 February 2013

Birth of Menon-e-azam



  BIRTH OF MENON-E-AZAM -20 OCTOBER 1960

 This post is from my husband's archives.It was written by him  in the year 1960,when our son, who is now a CA was born. This is written in a humorous vein.

(This is another guest post by my husband.)


 While rummaging through a labyrinth of papers to locate a document, my eyes fell  on an old forgotten manuscript which, on scrutiny, turned out to be a first time father's excited outpourings on the arrival of his offspring.This treatise was penned by me in October 1960 in honour of my son.I have given the characters  figuring in this paper a touch of royalty. After all, to employ a cliche, if wishes were horses, we can ride the clouds.Even though it is wishful thinking,I have given  a free run to my imagination.It is said that writers can take some liberties. The events mentioned in the following narrative are, however, to the best of my knowledge,true.


Dramatis personae:
 1.Rani of Patel Nagar-My charming wife.
2.Queen mother---- My mother-in-law

3.Imperial majesty-My Father-in-law 

4.Prince A.D.C-My Brother-in-law 

5.Royal Mausis-My wife's sisters 

6.Royal Mamajis-My wife's brothers. 

7.His Heaviness-Myself-(in view of my bulk)

 8.Imperial Prince-My Son

Wednesday,October 19,1960,was to have been like any other day.But the Government's decision to celebrate Diwali on that day instead of on the succeeding day made it an auspicious day.It must be an auspicious day,otherwise,priests and pundits would not have not been able to prevail upon the authorities who matter, to change an entry in the printed government calender.Amidst the noise and blasts of fire crackers and other Diwali accompaniments in which children and those who are still children in their mental make-up indulge,the more sober of the populous woke up to be greeted by an angry sun.Diwali came but the sun was still scorching as if it were to announce that Diwali was still  far off.Her Majesty,the Rani of Patel Nagar was staying with the Queen mother of Kotla Road to make preparations to welcome the Imperial prince whose arrival was expected to take place a month hence.It was the day for Patel Nagar Rani to visit Lady Hardinge Hospital  for a detailed check-up.At 9 am ,His  Heaviness(Patel Nagar Rani's husband)was in the hospital to welcome the Rani and the royal retinue.They arrived.Without loss of time all    solemnly entered the hospital.But as ill-luck would have it we were informed that we would have to wait till 12 pm or so.But Providence was in our favour.It is proverbial that women have longer tongues.They will talk in and out of season.They will talk relevant and irrelevant things ,the latter always predominating.(my wife vehemently protested but I have assured her that I have great respect for all women)They have their own irrational fears and prejudices when they are carrying babies.The main topic of the ladies who were on a similar errand as that of the Rani of Patel Nagar,herein after called the Heroine,was displacement.There was heated discussions among the ladies.I was however totally confused.Some narrated some strange stories of the doctors' behaviour etc.Pessimism reigned supreme.Timid of the lot occupied hind most seats thus nourishing a false hope that they would be able to escape the doctor's ominous hands.  Our heroine,  Her Majesty,the Rani of Patel took this as an opportune moment. Our heroine though she was also obsessed with the fears mentioned above,made a bold entry into the sanctum sanctorum,the labour room.What a courage!What a dynamism!After ten minutes ordeal she came out putting on a brave smile though her general features betrayed suffering.The time was 10.45 am.The heroine accompanied by His Heaviness returned to Patel Nagar.The place was full of Diwali sweets.At about 2 o'clock the heroine started complaining pains.  Stomach pain on Diwali day is understandable. Even a person with moderate eating habits is likely to get it on that day.So reasonably enough I dubbed it as due to the over satisfaction of her palatal region.To be frank, it was dismissed as false pain.It is a widely known fact that  the heroine's faculty of pain is a bit super sensitive and her too common complaints are generally received with a complacent indulgence.She had some sort of pains a week before also and much fuss was made about it but later on it proved to be a false alarm.Knowing the background fully well these pains were also assigned to that category.At 6.30 pm,the heroine performed the Diwali puja and accompanied by His Heaviness left for the Imperial Headquarters in a taxi.At 7 pm,His royal highness Prince A.D.C inaugurated the fireworks.Atom bombs,hydrogen bombs,dynamite and what not made excursions to the heavens. The heroine let out a scream.Bring this ,bring that,pack this,pack that,do this,do that,etc-all instructing and no one to follow.There was a regular pandemonium.The heroine was all tears.Heroine accompanied by Queen mother,Imperial father etc ,all got into the car and sped away to the Lady Hardinge Hospital.The party reached the hospital at 7.45 pm.After some routine enquires the party was allowed inside.The heroine entered the labour room.Queen mother and Heaviness anxiously waited outside to hear the outcome even though His Heaviness still maintained that this was a recurrence of the event of the preceding week.But his protests were ignored.Occasional screaming of the heroine showed that she was wide awake.The clock struck 12.Another voice issued forth from the sanctum sanctorum.Whose could it be?Subsequent enquiries revealed that Imperial Prince has at last arrived.Well and good.There was excitement and more excitement.Queen mother Naniji ran to the telephone booth to convey the happy tidings to his Imperial Majesty,Nanaji and Royal Mausis and Mamajis who were all wide awake awaiting the news..I was happy beyond words and with full of  feelings that my son and successor has arrived. 

An appeal-Bouquets -yes. Brickbats- No Please 


18 comments:

  1. Fascinating narration. It reminded me of O.V.Vijayan's narrative beginning of "The Saga of Dharmapuri" the political satire.
    Here your husband has taken care well the narrative

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    1. My husband thanks you for your commendable words.Why have you not accepted the offer of the Liebster Award?

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  2. A delicious piece, Usha. Haaaa haaa. A royal entry! I am still chuckling..
    Fantastic write up. Regards and kudos to the writer!

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  3. Thanks Panchali. It made you laugh. My husband is thankful to you.

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  4. wonderful narration . The way he has clubbed the birth of your son with diwali is truly fitting . After all child birth is indeed a celebration , isnt ? :)

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  5. Thanks Malini for visiting . Well said,child birth is indeed a celebration. As he was born on Diwali, we named him Deepak.

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  6. I'm quite confused with the conditions and how to go about the award business, that I tried and left it at that.

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    1. Dont be confused.Go ahead. You can do it. The award is yours.

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  7. This piece made me chuckle, If I call my daughter princess, it automatically makes me queen. I am elated by the thought.

    Thoroughly enjoyed!

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    1. Hi Meenakshi.Thank you soo much for your nerve tickling comments. You and your daughter are already a Queen and princess of writing!! My husband is delighted to read your comments.

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    2. :)Thanks a lot of Ma'am, I can never get enough of your sweet comments.

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  8. Hahaahhaa :D
    What a savvy piece granpa had written. (Charan Sparsh!)
    The characters are named so royal that itlsef makes the write-up so humourous. I cant get off the scene,everything had been depicted so vividly. Cheers for Deepawali's Deepak Delight.

    Silly Smiles... Take you Miles :)

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    1. Hi Surbhi ,The comments are lovelier than the post. Thank you very much.

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  9. Superb!! fantastic!! giggles and chuckles...Of course every family is royal in itself..every daughter is a princess for her parents and thereby every mother is a queen..
    The appeal made the whole post even more appealing..( icing on the cake)
    Bows down to Sir...

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  10. Thanks odyzz. Your beautiful comments have made my day. btw odyzz, I am curious to know about you more. You write with so much sensitvity and emotion which is very appealing and striking!

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    1. Thanks you so much Maám for such sweet words..I am always there within your reach..anytime.. :)

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  11. hahahaha.. this is so funny.. and well-written. totally enjoyed it.

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