northern lights

northern lights

Friday, 12 October 2012

women in my life

Women in my life!

The title of this blog should not give any wrong notions about me. I am not a reputed philanderer or a lady-killer. I am a normal human being without abnormal human ambitions. I do not build castles in the air. I am earthly and of the earth. This introduction was necessary before traversing on this tricky track. At the same time I am not a misogynist or a chauvinist. You may conclude that I am a namby-pamby in the mysteries of womanhood. It is however as apparent as daylight that women give us strength, solace and succour. They, so to say, provide us with our survival kit. Having said this let us see what will be the attitude of a male who is steeped in chauvinism or is a philistine. Has he got nothing to do with the  fair species? Apart from the fact that he has been brought out into this world by a woman, a man,  whatever may be his pretentions, is a creature of a  woman. She has a stranglehold on him. He is within the easy pull of a  woman. It may be a moral pull exercised by his mother or sister or daughter or an amorous one exercised by his wife or mistress or girl friend or even a paramour. That much for a man's Independence. It is an oft-repeated saying that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Sometimes I am appalled that a woman is a  repository of all that provides man with strength. We have the example of  Mother Goddess from whom has accrued all the powers of  the divine denizens. Without her benign grace things will go pell mell. Cosmic order will disintegrate leading to chaos and catastrophe. The very foundation of the cosmos will be shaken as if struck by a thunder bolt of mammoth proportion.
Many women have made an irreversible impact on my life. Foremost of them is my mother followed by my wife, mother-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and grand daughters,etc. Several others have also contributed to my persona but the list will be unending.
  • Mother  -  Ha mother, my mother, I crave for your hug. My mother was a gift from God. Divinity was oozing from her being. It is said  that she was born after a lot of prayers and worship. A divine aura surrounded her personality.Destiny however robbed her of her beloved mate at a very young age.Saddled with half a dozen little mouths to be fed and taken care of she sallied forth into an uncertain and bewildering world  with only her unbeatable courage and confidence.Single handed this brave lady brought us all up and set us forth in the ocean of life equipped with reasonable education and grit. Adversity did not dim her wit and humour. Throughout, her personality  emitted an infectious demeanour of pleasant and pulsating  life. Whatever I am today is due to her unwavering stewardship.
  •  Mother-in-law  -    She was a virtuous lady of indescribable grace. She possessed a rare ethereal charm. Nobility was her hallmark.The very moment I was introduced to her I was carried away by her grace.My mother-in-law was a woman of God.She was a practising Ram Bhakt.She was also an adept in Sikh tenets.Chanting from Shree Guru Granth Sahib was a favourite devotional practice  nurtured by her.Even I was infected  by her ardent devotion and became an admirer of Shree Guru Nanak Dev.It was at this time that  a colleague of mine, a Sikh gentleman,enabled me to have darshan at various holy Gurudwaras of Delhi  including Rakabganj, Sisganj and Bangla sahib. I am beholden to my mother-in-law for various blessings of life.
  • Wife :   A  wife is a wife all her life. A Punjabi siren  with sinuous grace cuckooed her way into my heart. There was hardly any park or restaurant which this smitten duo had not graced.Right from the beginning it was evident that my cuckoo was and continues to be the dominant partner. Right from seducing and leading me upto the altar, it was her show all the way. Like Mary's little lamb I would follow her meekly. There was an incident  when her authoritarian streaks came to the fore. During the hey days of our courtship or was it that time when our mutual adulation was still nascent(my memory is not helping me here), we came in conflict with the uniformed law. We were sitting in  a park oblivious of our surroundings when something hard poked me. To my astonishment  and consternation I found  the law enforcing agency, in flesh and blood staring at us.He demanded why we were there and what was our purpose of cohorting in a secluded park. Out of my wits for a few moments, a pathetic  look from my  beloved rekindled  my chivalry and  in the tradition of a knight gallant I faced the calamity fairly and squarely. I explained that it was stifling at home and we had ome to the park for a whiff of fresh air.  It did not seem to convince the law enforcing agency. Fearing that my incoherent and broken Hindi would give away the game, the gallant lady took over and fielded further questions. Suffice to say that the danger retreated and we continued with our confabulation. It is often said that women with overbearing traits in their character have the last word in any argument with their mates. It is not true in my case as I generally have the last word. These lethal words are 'I agree'. My woman treats me softly as if I require great nourishing with affection. It will be imprudent if not impudent to question her decisions. If I make any impulsive adventure in this regard it will be met with a look of disdain if not contempt. We completed our golden jubilee two years ago and neither age nor custom has withered away our ardour for each other. Our blissful state continues. Thanks to God Almighty.  
  •  Daughter - A daughter was born to us after lot of prayers. After a son, we thought that in the fitness of things and to complete our planned family the presence of a little angel was required. God blessed us with a nice little doll who herself is now a mother and in due course will become a mother-in-law. She is always calm, cool and collected and her very presence acts as a balm. I am a restless character, my daughter has shown me the virtues of balanced behaviour and good cheer. She is a doctor by profession. She takes good care of our physical, physiological, psychological and emotional health. About physical needs she no doubt attends to my ever lengthening ailments but with her culinary expertise she titillates my tastebuds. I look forward to visits to her house. In all her ventures she is ably assisted by her well renowned doctor husband. In her marital home she has worn the mantle of an able and efficient housewife. She has won the hearts of all members of her husband's family and often acts as  the torch-bearer of their welfare. To the amusement of her grown up children I still call her Gudiya meaning 'doll'. She is deeply religious and does not miss any opportunity to visit Shirdi.  
  • Daughter-in-law -  My daughter-in-law entered our household at a very appropriate time. I and my wife had put in a lot of service  and were on the threshold of superannuation. She landed at this juncture in our house as a saviour. She was no stranger to us her father being my childhood friend. She is the only daughter of her parents, and has two brothers. Her parents and brothers doted on her. She grew up as a strong willed girl ready to face any challenges. She is very strong at the very core of her being. I and she both come under the same zodiac sign. This sometimes resulted in titanic clashes of our will but without any damage. This is a thing of the past and I won't attempt to confront her as she can easily worst me in any argument. There were some hiccups in the initial days of her marriage as her parents were staying away in Bangalore and her husband's family based in Delhi. But it goes to her credit that in no time she got well adjusted and became a full blown Delhi girl. Her personality opened up slowly but surely layer by layer. She is a very affectionate person fully devoted not only to her husband and children, which is natural, but also to her aged father-in-law and mother-in-law which is rare these days. I was the recipient of her kindness at the very onset of her marriage. I had undergone a surgery and she nursed me back to health with devotion. She continues to be solicitous about our heath and well being. She is equally devoted to her mother and brothers and takes good care of them. In her official career also, she has displayed rare brilliance matched only by her sincerity. She is a model daughter-in-law who exemplifies in her personality all the characteristics of a noble person. 

  • Sister  - I and my four brothers together have a sister. She is elder to me by two years. Being the only sister, the brothers have throughout showered her with a lot of affection. I am very attached to her. Right from my toddler-hood she took me under her protective wings. Even now if at any time I face any uncomfortable situation, I turn to her for solace and she does not disappoint me. A hearty chat with her either over telephone or through Skype restores my tranquillity. She has impacted my personality with her ever affable and affectionate nature.

  •  Grandaughters - While delineating the characters of the ladies mentioned above, I cannot sidetrack my grandaughters. These little ladies smother me with their innocent affection and unmatched love. Everybody in the family and even in friends circles pamper them, but this adulation and approbation have not spoilt them. They take it in their stride and thoroughly enjoy it. In keeping with the trend of modern times, they have grown up as self willed and confident persons. The are also very concerned with the welfare of their grandparents and inspite of their whirlwind schedules, spend valuable time with them. We watch with great interest their progression in life. God bless them.
  • Nieces  - I am also blessed with the love and affection of my nieces. As young ones, I have cradled them and now they are grandmothers. While efficiently handling their family affairs, they have not forgotten me and I am the recipient of their continuous affection and solicitude.




  1. It is so nice to readabout ones emotional relationships

  2. Wonderfully expressed. There are hiccups in any relation, but the way you saw the light through all of them is amazing.

  3. Thank you for your appreciative comments.